Tuesday, September 26, 2006

SEASONAL TREATS ( My Passionate Love Affair With Little Debbie )


Delightful, delightful, maker of treats,
Dear Little Debbie, when will we meet?
I buy all your products; I love every one,
From the 'Nutty Bar' to the 'Honey Bun'.

But one time a year, the best of them all,
Pops up in stores and blesses the Fall.
They’re there when I’m hungry; They’re there when I’m sad.
They make me feel fuzzy ... like huggin’ my Dad.

No introduction could ever suffice,
For I speak of course about your 'Pumpkin Delights'.

It’s just no surprise that the world is delighted.
We can’t choose a president but on this we’re united!
They’re loved by the seniors and adored by the Frosh,
No one can resist little treats made of squash.

They don’t solve every problem or affect world peace,
But they’d solve all of mine if they grew on the trees!
But Lo, they do not and Thanksgiving draws nigh.
Soon millions and billions of turkeys will die.

We’ll laugh and we’ll play and we’ll fall down and giggle;
A little less flex and a little more jiggle.
And when we come back to college, will anyone care,
That these seasonal snacks are no longer there?

I shudder to think that this will be the case,
So I’ll spread the good news with passion and haste.
I’ll make sure your treats will last till the end,
By giving a Pumpkin Delight to each of my friends!

Written my Junior year at Indiana University while emcee'ing for Campus Crusade. 11/2000


At September 26, 2006 9:48 PM , Blogger Audrey said...

Wow, now I'm beginning to wonder what I've been missing out on all these years that my mom refused to buy her kids all those processed goodies. I do like nutty bars, but I was 14 before I ever had one of those. Ask me if I've ever eaten a twinkie. Actually, don't..unless you want to hear me answer "no." Kinda sad I'm sure, but I figure I've already made it through one-fourth (Lord willing) of my life without eating one, it would be a bummer to break my streak now!

At September 27, 2006 11:03 AM , Blogger Kacie said...

That is quite hilarious. Thanks for the laughs. :)

At September 28, 2006 9:44 PM , Blogger Loren said...

Awesome! I remember the day you read that aloud to me and 399 of our closest friends and then whirled the treats into the croud. Awesome.

Please put these lyrics to music and play it at Thanksgiving this year. Adam Sandler has nothing on you.

At October 06, 2006 12:30 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pumpkin delights are probably.... no, definitely... the best fall snack ever.

At October 11, 2006 10:06 AM , Anonymous Nick said...

Finally, the coveted Pumpkin Delight poem surfaces!!! Ive been wanting its rythmic rhymes to dance my ears all the way to the store to purchase my box of heaven's treats every since I heard it that first night at Crusade. Bless you little Debbie, Bless You my child.


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